I am a lot of things. Bottom line, I am a daughter of the King. A daughter of the most high. And He has held me. Just as is true for me, is true for you. Do you realize that?

Rewind back to 27 January 2020. It was Monday. I had started getting sick the previous Tuesday. I’d never been so sick in my life. It was 5 am … it was plenty late enough to start calling those in medical field I knew for help, right? I was that desperate. Thankfully I also called my doctor who was on call. I’d talked to her a couple times already over the weekend. She simply stated, “I think it is best for you to go to the ER”. So I woke up my husband, told him I needed to go to the ER. My parents came over to be with the kids, and we snuck out. Little did I know that it’d be nearly 2 months before I would return home, nearly 2 weeks before I’d get to see my babies again! Nor did I, or any of us, know how close I’d come to death. Thankfully, it was not my time.

Today, as I reflect back over the last two years… it’s been a journey. I have suffered tremendous pain, 13 surgeries (I think – it’s easy to lose count; 10 in the first 2 months), more procedures than most know exist, 78 hyberbaric sessions, relearning to swallow, sit, walk, pee, shower… but you know what? Even in the hardest moments – all of loss – of having to sell my business of 21 years, of losing fingers and toes, of taking on tremendous debts from my business, I’ve had tremendous peace. It doesn’t mean that I never felt sad or cried. Of course I did. I had great trials. But underlying it was a Peace. A knowing that God held me. That God has a plan. And with that knowing, or grace, I was able to joyfully live through the roughest of times.

That day, January 27, 2020. That was a day. I don’t remember much. I remember a nice older gentleman, waling out and offering to get me a wheelchair when we arrived at the ER. I declined, but then I think I sat on the floor once inside. I’m not really sure. I remember them telling me they needed to put a port in. I thought I was sitting on the floor in the lobby, leaning against the wall, and them pressing it into the side of my neck. (In fact I was in a bed, in a room). I remember they couldn’t understand why my white blood cell count was 0.05. It was the lowest they’d ever seen. I remember an ambulance coming to take me to the ICU at the main hospital, and it being the wrong type of ambulance. I wouldn’t fit in it with all they had me hooked up to. I remember it being dark by then (again, as was dark when we arrived that morning), and being annoyed it was the wrong type. I knew I needed to get to the ICU. You’d think how scary this must have been. Not for me. I’m sure for my family and friends. For myself, I think I felt relief that I was getting help. I remember watching some of the street lights as I was transferred to the main hospital. And then… I don’t remember much… until about 10-12 days later when I awoke.

I am a all a lot of things. Bottom line, I am a daughter of the King. A daughter of the most high. And He has held me. Just as is true for me, is true for you. Do you realize that? I hope that you do. God has a plan. Not just for me. But for you too.